I stole your roommate’s shoe from her room, you saw me before I could eat it :'( – Alaina
Shoe Snatcher

I stole your roommate’s shoe from her room, you saw me before I could eat it :'( – Alaina
Ventoux just wouldn’t call in a pro.
I wasn’t allowed to sit on this chair, so I ate it.
I jump on the table when mom isn’t home, but am too afraid to jump down. Mom comes home to find me on the table… who knows how long I’ve been stuck up there.
My name is Polo (aka Polar Bear), but today I thought I was a Panda Bear so I ate the bamboo plant.
I stole and ate an entire bunch of fresh garlic… and then threw it up under Mom and Dad’s Bed. It was the worst thing they have EVER smelled. — An apologetic Maeby.
Listen, Mom. I stole your yogurt. But can you please get it off my face?
I peed in company’s shoe (I’m an old lady, give me a break)
“Why does my dog bark all the time?”
Siri: I don’t know. Frankly, I’ve wondered that myself.”
I tried to blame my brother (sitting behind me)…it did’t fool mommy. 🙁