I tripped my mom and broke her leg the week before we had to move. My dad is not happy with me.
I Have a Leg up on my Competitors
Posts Categorized: Submitted
A Gifted Waxer is Hard to Find
Hi,
My name is Lenny and I like to lick wax out of peoples ears!
Bark to School
Mommy is a teacher and I ate her homework-papers that’s he needed to grade. The kids will LOVE you me!!!
Ruff Translation
Gunther (ˈgo͝ontər):
German for I poop behind couches
African’t Stop me!
Ellie’s papa had bought her a nice gift from his holidays in South Africa. It took only two days for destructo dog to tear it apart. Don’t let that head tilt fool you!
Sign reads: “This is how I treat souvenirs from South Africa – Ellie”
Book Lover
In a moment of spectacular irony, I destroyed the dogshaming book.
Peanut Butthead!
I figured out how to get peanut butter out of the cabinet, hid the jar in my bed and then ate it sneakily when nobody was paying attention. – Levi
For Hire: Underpaid Dishwasher
Siri waits until I leave the room to scope the counter for food, her brother snitched on her, and my sight froze her.
Happy Adoption Day
We were working on not chewing everything up and she was doing great she had a 5 day streak going on and I thought she was over the chewing stage, until she ate her adoption papers. I had to write the shelter I got her from for new ones they thought it was funny.
Christmas Sweater
Ashton chewed a hole in his new Christmas sweater, then puked it up. Yes, it was as gross as it sounds.
