No I don’t know anything about that

Namaste.
Archie ate a yoga mat that I had gotten for my mom for christmas!
Molly decided to go into the closet and eat two baseball gloves.
“Dad, I just wanted you to play catch with me. XO”
“I was stuck in a tree, 80 feet up, for 5 days in 95 degree heat. When a lumberjack tried to rescue me, I attacked him.”
A dog from up the street chased our cat, RC Charley, up a tree. We tried everything to get him down, but he just kept climbing higher and higher each day. After being in the tree for 5 days, we knew we would have to do something, or he would die. We had a friend that used to be a lumberjack come out to climb the tree to bring him down. Since RC Charley had been in the tree for 5 days without any food or water, and was probably suffering from heat exhaustion due to it was 90 degrees all week, we assumed he would be tired and happy that someone was there to help him. That was not the case! When our friend reached the top of the tree, RC Charley full-on attacked him! Our friend had to “battle” our cat for 15 minutes to finally get him into an animal-safe drawstring bag to bring him down.
“I love to eat moms things while she’s gone. Guess whos in trouble?”
I lovingly looked into my neighbours eyes and peed on her floor. P.S it’s a restaurant.
Our doggy Ramathorn cut his foot and had to be on sedatives. He was all doped up and it was hysterical until he peed on our bed.
After being neutered, our dog turned on the gas stove and lit the house on fire.
This dog is now worth $1000.
Our dog Amos has a thing against Michael Kors, first my heels then this…. “I thought Mommy’s Michael Kors sunglasses were a chew toy…. Still do. And I don’t care.” It’s a good thing your cute Amos Moses.