I tore mom’s cashmere scarf into pieces and shredded an entire roll of poop bags (while they were at the grocery store for 20 minutes)
Cashmere is Delicious
Posts By: Audra Williams
Terrified of Thunder
Texas thunderstorms are really scary. I need my family to stay awake with me so I can “protect” them all night long.
Timeouts Suck
Albert decided to scale onto the kitchen counter where there just happened to be a lamb roast……hence the box of shame…
This is NOT my Chair
This is not my chair…but it should be.
XO
Buster
Two Minutes on the Lips, two Hours on the Hips
We had an Italian day and we spent the entire day making sauce, meatballs and pasta. The pasta has to dry over night, and Lexi took it upon herself to help us clean up sometime during the night. She ate 2-3 lbs of pasta that took us 2 hours to make. Naughty girl.
Sore Throat
“I have a sore throat.” Sir Lancelot knocked over a trash can in an effort to get my cough drop wrappers from the night before.
I Ate My Dog Shaming Book
I pulled my Dog Shaming book down off the coffee table and ate it.
I’m Lucky I’m Cute
I eat poop and it upsets my stomach (weird!), so I leaked diarrhea in Mommy’s home office… and she sat in it.
She showered and cleaned it up.
A few minutes later, I thanked her by throwing up poop all over her.
… I thought it was hysterical.
How Cavalier of you!
I received a “time out” in doggy day care for getting too “friendly” with the other dogs in my play group.
The Time Out Report says “Milo received a time out during the PM play session for humping”
The Taste-Test Conclusion: Needs more Drool
I heard voices from the floor next to my chair. Oh no, my dog activated Siri from biting through my heavy duty phone case and cracked the glass!!
