in the past 12 months I have eaten: knickers (6 pair), boxer shorts (2 pair), tank top (1), metal crate (1), plastic kennel (1), wood door frame (1), towels (2), dog bed (1), air mattress (1), carpet, and uncountable quantities of toilet paper, kleenex, and paper towels. AND I AM HUNGRY FOR MORE! In fact, if mom looks away, I will probably eat this sign. Oh look … is that Elvis? Over there … ? -Calvin.
